# Social Stories: What They Are and How to Write Your Own

> What social stories are, how they help autistic children handle new or tricky situations, and a simple step-by-step guide to writing your own (with examples).

_Source: Autism Parent Guide (https://autismparentguide.org/communication/social-stories) · Last reviewed 2026-06-01 · Reviewed by Parent reviewer and Speech & language therapist._

## Quick answer

A social story is a short, personalised description that walks your child through a situation — what will happen, what they might see and feel, and what they can do — in **clear, calm, literal language**. They're used to prepare autistic children for something new or tricky, like a haircut, the dentist, a new school, or sharing toys. To write one: describe the situation accurately, keep it positive and concrete, use mostly *descriptive* sentences with only a few gentle suggestions, add pictures, and read it together *before* the event.

*"Social Stories™" is a specific approach created and trademarked by Carol Gray. This is a general, plain-language guide to writing your own social story for your child.*

## What parents can do today

- Pick one specific situation that worries your child (not a whole topic — just one event).
- Jot down the real details: who, what, where, when, and why it happens.
- Write 5–10 short sentences in your child's perspective, present tense and positive.
- Add a photo or symbol to each page so it's easy to follow.
- Read it calmly together a few times before the event — not in the middle of distress.
- After the event, revisit it together and tweak anything that didn't match what happened.

## What social stories are and how they help

A social story is a short, personalised piece of writing that describes a situation, event or skill — and gently explains what to expect. Instead of telling a child what to do, a good social story mostly *describes*: where they'll be, what will happen, who they'll see, how their body might feel, and what usually comes next.

The magic is in making the unknown predictable. A lot of distress for autistic children comes from uncertainty — not knowing what's coming, how long it will last, or what's expected of them. A social story answers those questions in advance, in calm and literal language, so a confusing situation becomes a familiar one.

Social stories can help your child:

- **Feel less anxious** about something new or unpredictable
- **Understand what's expected** in a clear, concrete way
- **Learn what other people might be thinking or feeling**
- **Prepare for a change** before it happens
- **Remember a coping strategy** they can use when things feel hard

They work best as one tool among several. Pair them with a [visual schedule](/daily-life/visual-schedules) for the order of the day, and with [picture communication cards](/communication/picture-cards) so your child can still tell you what they need in the moment.

## When to use a social story

Social stories shine whenever a situation is new, unpredictable, or repeatedly tricky. Common moments parents write them for include:

- **New experiences** — the first day at a new school, a hospital visit, a haircut, a flight, a dental check-up, a birthday party
- **Transitions and changes** — moving house, a new sibling, a substitute teacher, the end of the summer holidays
- **Recurring difficulties** — taking turns, waiting in a queue, washing hands, putting on a seatbelt, lining up at school
- **Understanding others** — why a friend looked sad, why people say "hello," why we use a quiet voice in the library
- **Coping strategies** — what to do when feeling angry, how to ask for a break, where the calm-down corner is

A social story is a *preparation* and *teaching* tool, not a crisis tool. The moment your child is already overwhelmed or melting down is **not** the time to read one — that's the time to keep things safe and calm and reduce input. Read the story when everyone is relaxed, well before the event, so the words have a chance to land. If your child struggles broadly with new routines, it's worth also reading about [coping with change](/daily-life/coping-with-change), which pairs naturally with social stories.

## How to write a social story step by step

You don't need special training to write a helpful social story. Here's a simple process:

### 1. Pick one specific situation
Choose a single, concrete event — "going to the dentist," not "being brave." The narrower the focus, the more useful the story.

### 2. Gather the real details
Note the who, what, where, when and why. What will the room look like? What sounds, smells or steps are involved? Accuracy matters — if you promise it'll be quick and it isn't, the story loses trust.

### 3. Write from your child's point of view
Use the first person and present tense where it fits: "Today I am going to the dentist." Keep it positive and reassuring, never threatening.

### 4. Be concrete and literal
Avoid idioms, sarcasm and vague words. Say "I sit in a big chair that moves up and down" rather than "the dentist works their magic."

### 5. Mostly describe; coach only a little
Lean on **descriptive sentences** that explain what happens and how people feel. Add only a few gentle **coaching sentences** that suggest what your child can do — for example, "I can hold my soft toy" or "I can ask for a break." Too many instructions turn a calming story into a list of demands.

### 6. Keep it short and at their level
Aim for a handful of short sentences pitched at your child's understanding. Younger children may need just a few pages with one idea each.

### 7. Add pictures and end on reassurance
A photo or symbol on each page makes the story easier to follow and revisit — the [symbol library](/toolkit/symbols) can help. Finish with a calm, positive ending: "When we are finished, we go home. The dentist helps keep my teeth healthy."

## A worked example

Here's a short, original example for a common worry — the fire alarm at school. Notice how most sentences simply *describe*, with only a couple gently *coaching* what to do.

### "When the fire alarm rings at school"

- Sometimes the fire alarm at school makes a loud ringing sound. *(descriptive)*
- The alarm is loud so that everyone can hear it. It is doing its job. *(descriptive)*
- The loud sound can feel surprising or uncomfortable. Lots of children feel that way. *(descriptive — and reassuring)*
- When the alarm rings, my teacher helps everyone walk outside together. *(descriptive)*
- I can cover my ears with my hands if the sound is too loud. *(coaching)*
- I can walk next to my teacher or a friend to the safe spot outside. *(coaching)*
- We wait outside until a grown-up says it is okay to go back in. *(descriptive)*
- Most of the time, the alarm is just a practice. Everyone is safe. *(descriptive — and reassuring)*

That's the whole story — short, literal, and honest about how it might feel. You can copy this shape for almost anything: state what happens, name the feelings, suggest one or two helpful actions, and end with safety and calm.

## Using social stories effectively

Writing the story is only half the job — how you use it matters just as much.

- **Read it calmly, ahead of time.** Share it when your child is relaxed, and read it more than once. Repetition builds familiarity, which is exactly what reduces the anxiety.
- **Pair it with other visuals.** A social story explains the *why* and *what to expect*; a [visual schedule](/daily-life/visual-schedules) shows the *order* of steps. Together they're stronger than either alone.
- **Keep the language consistent.** Use the same words in the story that you and school use in real life, so there are no surprises.
- **Combine it with communication tools.** Make sure your child can still say "help," "break" or "all done" in the moment with [picture communication cards](/communication/picture-cards) — a story prepares them, but they still need a voice.
- **Update it as your child grows.** Revisit and revise the story as situations change or your child masters a skill. Some stories can be retired once they're no longer needed.
- **Never use it as a threat or punishment.** A social story is a kind, supportive explanation — not "read this or else." Keep the tone warm so your child trusts it.

Save your stories somewhere easy to find (a folder, a small album, your phone) so you can reach for the right one before the next appointment, party or change.

## Frequently asked questions

### What is a social story?

A social story is a short, personalised description of a situation, event or skill, written in clear and literal language. It explains what will happen, what your child might see and feel, and what they can do — so a new or confusing situation becomes predictable and less frightening.

### How do social stories help autistic children?

They reduce anxiety by removing uncertainty. Many autistic children find the unknown stressful, and a social story answers the questions in advance — where we're going, what happens, how it might feel, and what to do. They also gently teach social understanding and coping strategies in a calm, non-demanding way.

### How do I write a social story?

Pick one specific situation, gather the real details, and write a handful of short sentences from your child's point of view in positive, concrete language. Use mostly descriptive sentences with just a few gentle suggestions, add a picture to each page, and finish on a reassuring note.

### How long should a social story be?

Short — usually a handful of sentences or a few simple pages. Pitch it at your child's level of understanding; younger children often do best with one idea and one picture per page. If it's too long or too detailed, it can become overwhelming rather than calming.

### When should I read a social story to my child?

Read it when everyone is calm and well before the event, and revisit it a few times so it becomes familiar. Avoid reading it in the middle of distress or a meltdown — that's a time for safety and reducing input, not for new information.

### Can I use pictures in a social story?

Yes, and it usually helps. A photo or symbol on each page makes the story easier to follow, more engaging, and simpler to revisit. Real photos of the actual place or people can be especially reassuring; a symbol library is handy when you don't have a photo.

## Sources

- Social stories and comic strip conversations — National Autistic Society
- Social narratives — Autism Speaks
- Social stories — Raising Children Network
- Communication and autism — NHS
- Social communication — American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA)

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**Not medical advice.** This information is general and educational. Always speak to a qualified professional about your individual child.

Free parent tools: build printable communication cards at https://autismparentguide.org/toolkit/cards