# Autism and Bullying: How to Spot It and What to Do

> Autistic children are bullied more often, and may not report it. The signs to watch for, how to support your child, and how to work with school to stop it.

_Source: Autism Parent Guide (https://autismparentguide.org/school/bullying) · Content updated 2026-09-09. A general practitioner (GP), who prefers to remain anonymous, has been involved in reviewing the site since its development began and as content has been added. This describes ongoing involvement in the site. Individual article review dates and the scope of each review are not currently published._

## Quick answer

Autistic children are bullied more often than their peers, may not always recognise or report it, and it can seriously affect their mental health. **Watch for changes** — school refusal, withdrawal, lost or damaged items, more meltdowns — **believe and support your child**, teach them concretely how to tell a trusted adult, and **work firmly with the school**, which has a duty to keep your child safe.

## Who this is for

Parents who suspect their autistic child is being targeted at school or online and need a written, dated plan — not a pep talk.

## When to get individual help

If your child is being physically hurt, or mood has dropped to talk of not wanting to be here, keep them safe first and get urgent help. Then email the school.

## When to act straight away

Act quickly if your child is being physically hurt, threatened, or targeted online, or if their mood drops sharply, they refuse school, talk about not wanting to be here, or you see signs of self-harm. Keep your child safe first, report it to the school in writing, and seek support from your doctor or an urgent mental-health service if you're worried about their safety.

## What parents can do today

- Stay calm and let your child know you believe them and it's not their fault.
- Help them tell you what happened in whatever way is easiest — talking, writing, drawing or pictures.
- Write down what happened (dates, who, where) and keep any evidence.
- Report it to the school in writing and ask what they'll do and by when.
- Teach a simple 'what to do / who to tell' plan, and rebuild your child's confidence.

## Why are autistic children bullied more often?

They can stand out, misread 'jokes', trust too easily, and not always recognise or report harm. None of that is their fault. Adults stop bullying; children should not have to become less autistic to be safe.

It's not your child's fault, and understanding why helps you protect them. Autistic children can be targeted because they:

- **Stand out** as different, or react strongly (which some bullies find rewarding).
- **Misread intentions** — and may be tricked or set up (sometimes called 'mate crime', where a 'friend' takes advantage).
- **Trust easily** and want to fit in.
- **Don't always recognise** bullying, or struggle to report it.
- Are more exposed to **online bullying**.

Bullying is never the fault of the child being bullied — it's the behaviour of the person doing it, and the responsibility of adults to stop it.

## What signs suggest my child is being bullied?

School refusal, withdrawal, more meltdowns, sleep or appetite change, lost or damaged things, marks, or suddenly avoiding a device. Autistic children often do not report it. A cluster of changes from their normal is enough to ask — you do not need a perfect disclosure.

Because many autistic children don't report bullying, watch for changes:

- **School refusal** or sudden anxiety about going (see [school refusal](/school/school-refusal))
- **Withdrawal**, low mood, or more meltdowns and shutdowns
- **Sleep or appetite** changes
- **Unexplained marks**, or lost/damaged belongings and money
- **Regression** or reluctance to talk about school
- Suddenly not wanting to use a device or go online

A cluster of these — especially a change from your child's normal — is worth gently exploring.

## Supporting your child

- **Believe them and stay calm.** Your reaction sets the tone — make it safe to tell you more.
- **Help them communicate** what happened in their easiest way: talking, writing, drawing, or [picture cards](/communication/picture-cards).
- **Teach a concrete plan** — exactly what to do and which adult to tell, practised through a [social story](/communication/social-stories).
- **Rebuild confidence** through their strengths, interests and trusted friendships (see [making friends](/communication/friendships)).
- **Watch their mental health** — bullying takes a toll (see [anxiety](/daily-life/anxiety) and [depression](/daily-life/depression)).

## Working with the school

Schools have a responsibility to keep your child safe. To get action:

- **Report it in writing** (email) so there's a record, and keep copies of replies.
- **Ask for the anti-bullying policy** and how it applies to disabled and autistic pupils.
- **Request a clear plan** with named actions, a key adult, and a follow-up date.
- **Keep a log** of incidents and the school's responses.
- **Escalate** if needed — to senior leaders, the governing body/board, or your local complaints process.

Be calm, specific and persistent. You're not being difficult; you're protecting your child. See also [school support & IEP basics](/school).

## What should I do if I think my autistic child is being bullied?

Write dates, what was said or done, and who was present, then email the school named person (often the SENCO) and ask for a meeting and a written plan. Autistic children are bullied more often and may not report it. Do not wait for a perfect disclosure.

Look for unexplained injuries, missing things, school refusal, or a sudden hatred of a class. Support at home: believe them, reduce blame, restore a safe activity. See [school refusal](/school/school-refusal). Who should skip this: handling a violent incident only via a website — keep your child safe first, then write it down.

## What should I put in the email to school?

Dates, what was said or done, who was there, the impact (sleep, refusal, injuries), and a clear ask: a meeting, a named adult, and a written plan with a review date. Send it to the SENCO or head, not only the class teacher. Keep the tone factual. Persistence is reasonable.

Attach a one-page profile if you have one. Ask how the anti-bullying policy applies to disabled pupils. If nothing happens, escalate in writing to senior leaders, then governors, then the complaints process. See [school support](/school) and [school refusal](/school/school-refusal). Watch mood — bullying and [depression](/daily-life/depression) travel together.

## Frequently asked questions

### Are autistic children bullied more?

Yes — research consistently finds autistic children are bullied more often than their peers, partly because they may stand out, misread social situations, or not recognise and report bullying.

### How do I know if my autistic child is being bullied?

Watch for changes from their normal: school refusal, withdrawal, mood or sleep changes, unexplained marks or lost items, regression, more meltdowns, or suddenly avoiding devices. A cluster of changes is a flag.

### My child won't talk about it — what can I do?

Let them show you in their easiest way — writing, drawing or pictures rather than face-to-face talking. Stay calm, reassure them it's not their fault, and gather information gently over time.

### What should the school do about bullying?

Schools have a duty to keep your child safe and to follow their anti-bullying policy. Report it in writing, ask for a concrete plan with named actions and a review date, keep records, and escalate if nothing changes.

## Sources

- Difficulties at break times: guidance for parents and carers — National Autistic Society (https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/education/difficulties-break-times/parents)
- What can my autistic child get support with at school? — National Autistic Society (https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/education/getting-help-at-school/what-can-my-autistic-child-get-support-with-at-school)

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**Not medical advice.** This information is general and educational. Always speak to a qualified professional about your individual child.

Free parent tools: build printable communication cards at https://autismparentguide.org/toolkit/cards